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Tuesday, September 1, 2009, 11:08 AM
The Fem Mah Nysts’ Guide for the Good Wife!!
Plan dinner for yourself and family. Even if the food is from the Mc Donald’s drive through and presented in a greasy brown sac, it still counts as a dinner you planned. Making reservations at a favorite restaurant is also considered planning! It takes effort to flip through the directory, dial up the restaurant, then sit on hold a wait for a confirmation! Also asking your husband to pick something up on his way home is considered thinking ahead!!. Take a nap, after all, you deserve to pamper yourself. Feeding, cleaning, dressing and running after children is a lot of work for anyone, even a SUPERDIVA like you! Plus, if you are rested, you are less likely to snap, pack up all the valubles in the house, empty all the bank accounts and leave your poor work exhausted husband alone to raise the children like you have threatened to do so many times before!. Also, to make yourself "fresh-looking", have the hubby watch the kids for you so you can take a nice relaxing bubble bath with lighted candles, soothing music, and maybe even have some time to shave. He needs to spend quality time with his treasured offspring anyhow!! Take a Happy Pill if needed, Life can suck Lemons, and sometimes we all need a little pick me up! Do what makes you feel fulfilled and exciting! Your ability to dance around the house in your underwear singing “I’m Every Woman” is always a pleasant topic of conversation at the dinner table! However whatever it is that you do, do it for YOURSELF not for your spouses’ benefit because being "gay" for someone else's’ profit is just plain retarded. Have the kids clean up their toys at the end of the day before bedtime. There's no point in putting them away while they are still playing, besides you are not a maid. Randomly, tossing all the toys into confined spaces or areas counts as cleaning up. The same goes for the heaping laundry piles overflowing out of every hamper in the house. Besides if you don't get the time or chance to clean up the “clutter”, maybe it is just the inspiration you need to get your husband to splurge on that housekeeper you undeniably deserve! As long as that dust is not so thick that your child does not magically disappear during a freak indoor dust devil, it can wait. And if every appliance in your home is running when your husband returns, well it's a sign that you are a skilled multi-tasker and deserve a much needed break to sit and watch your favorite sitcom while he switches over & folds the laundry, then puts the dishes away. Building a fire is fun! Try to do it in the fireplace though! If one is not available a Fire pit work fine too! And if you do, try not to "accidentally" burn the house down with your husband in when he expresses any dissatisfaction with any of your “undone chores,” even if it brings you "immense personal satisfaction." Children and Dirt are two words in the dictionary that should be next to each other! If there is dirt in your yard you can bet they are rolling in it as you read this! As long as their hands are clean before they eat, so they are not infecting themselves from some atrocious cold, and they aren't tracking dirt all over your new carpet or smearing it all over your white couches then they're clean enough for now. Not to mention if they want to tackle and bombard their father with all their discoveries of the day when he walks in the door, more power to them. After all, you probably have received a PHD in child acrobatics and incoherent ramblings in the 8 hours he has been away! Be happy to see your husband, assuming at this point in your marriage you still like each other! If not I suggest counseling! All that aside, remember raising children is like a tag team wrestling match, tag him when he walks through the door! Give him a smile when he walks in the door, if he doesn't reek of another woman's scent, a kiss and a hug are always nice too. You probably missed him, so tell him. If you actually have the energy to inquire him how his day went, and are not too exhausted to hear the answer, ask! And if you love him, which is always a good thing, tell him! Try to act like you are interested in his day, even if he starts to recite all the inappropriate manslang he heard around the water cooler at work this morning. However, chances are the Jokes are filthy and it’s not something you will ever share with your girlfriends anyways. Make a written list throughout the day (because mental notes are a bust anyhow) of all of the things that are actually important or relevant to tell your husband when he comes home. You’re a busy DIVA, you can’t expect to remember everything! At dinner makes sure you provide him with a pen and paper so he can take adequate and sufficient notes! When you speak your husband should listen, because all women quiz their husbands what they said later! Everyone’s has bad days, hell some people have bad weeks! If this is you then spill it! The whole marriage thing is a partnership! You have every right to vent on a not so hot day, and it is his obligation to listen! Bear in mind, he retains the same right! However, if he goes out after work and stays out late, you also have the right to be upset and to make him sleep on the couch! Not to mention, you retain the right to ignore him completely on this weeks’ Girls Night Out. Between your tiny little terrors & the indoor tornados of flying debris, dirt, dust, and toys you will lucky if you are able to find yourself a hiding spot behind the couch to escape and regroup! For gentlemen they have man-caves, it’s called a garage, where they can renew their bodies and spirits by playing with their power tools! Going out after work for drink with his friends is not crime, however the door swings both ways! Life can be stressful on both ends, so in all fairness make sure he understands you get to go out with the girl’s tomorrow night!! If you've both had a rough day then taking some time to relax is great idea, Beverages are always a plus too, especially ones with alcohol!! Arranging pillows is something you do to make the sofas look nice, however, if you want to be kind enough to fluff a pillow for him, just try not to "arrange" it over his face. Not to mention, if you're speaking in low, soothing tones while you're doing it, it could tip him off that you might be up something! Teachers always say there is no such thing as a stupid question! If his actions and judgment are alarming you, point it out! If he needs your help, to preserve his integrity, a swift kick in the pants may be deemed appropriate during these times. Just because your husband is a man (most are) doesn't mean he is entitled to be a Jerk. Remember, he may be the King of his castle, but you are the Queen of his universe! A good queen knows her place, which is atop of her throne where she shall be worshipped, loved and adored by all. |
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Show Name: The "FemMahNyst"Host Name: AmberJoy Guest Blogger: Bethanne XM Station: UrbanTalkRadio 169 Days: Mon,Wed,Fri,Sun Times: 11am-Noon About
Hello my name is the "FemMahNyst and I'm a relatively stubborn and strong willed woman!The Fem Mah Nyst is brought to you by Urban Talk Radio XM Channel 169 Call # (718)506-1974 Email: femmahnyst@yahoo.com Follow Updates on: www.twitter.com/femmahnyst www.facebook.com/FemMahNyst www.myspace.com/liveonair FemMahNyst Feud Brought to you by www.corporatetravelgifts.com in conjunction with www.shorturbanmedia.org The Abuse is Useless Campaign An awareness effort, Sponsored by the Running Well Foundation. GO PURPLE PINE CONE! Help us Stomp out Domestic Violence www.sharemyworldonline.com www.myspace.com/abuseisuseless . Affiliates
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